Monday, January 31, 2011

The Top 20 Things I Learned While Living in Paris- #1 Live a Passionate Life



And so we make our way to the end of the countdown. Some of you may have seen this coming- I’ve touched on it in almost every post I’ve written. There is no doubt about it- while living in Paris the most important and profound thing I learned was to live a passionate life.

Eckhart Tolle, the new age philosopher says, “What you do is secondary. How you do it is primary”. Now while Eckhart Tolle isn’t French, his philosophy here very much so is. The importance is, of course, doing what you are passionate about, but if you find yourself doing something mundane, still do it passionately.

Passion infuses into almost every aspect of French life. The French are available and ready in the present moment for all of the pleasures that life has to offer. They manage to get the biggest kicks out of the simplest things- a perfect slice of chocolate cake, a look across the room from a handsome stranger or a particularly well written verse of prose… They are intense individuals that jump in and really live their life- nothing is wasted.

That first day in Paris, standing on the doorstep of Famille Chic’s home, I had no idea what I was about to embark on. My young life, vibrating with a desire for change was about to go on the biggest adventure I’ve ever known. Thrust into a strange and beautiful land… living with a formal family like something out of an old fashioned novel- those decadent meals, their beautiful apartment- that inspiring space.

The people I met- Madame Bohemienne and her artistic friends- those passionate, wine fueled gatherings. Walking on a bridge over the river Seine in the icy cold. Feeling so completely content as a solitary figure riding the metro on the way to school or walking down the Champs Élysée observing all of the chic people…

…but again so grateful when a moment could be shared with someone else. Those bursts of feeling that came upon me when I heard the secret midnight quartet at the Louvre. When I first saw Manet’s Dejuener Sur L’Herbe at the Musee d’Orsay. Every night having a slice of camembert- the ‘roi du fromage’.

Now that I am 30 years old, with husband and daughter, I find myself the Madame Chic of my own family. I learned so much from her and from living in Paris. I want to share this wealth of knowledge with my daughter and it has to be said the one thing I want for her most is to live a life of passion- to fall in love with everyday life. That it doesn’t matter what she does- it can be something as mundane as going to the grocery store- but the important thing is how she does it. To be present and ready for whatever this funny life has in store for her.

Every now and then I close my eyes and imagine standing on the doorstep of Famille Chic, about to knock- the butterflies in my stomach going mad with the sheer possibility of life.

And then… the door opens.


I am pictured above, jumping with joy, in front of La Tour Eiffel in Paris, 2001


Friday, January 28, 2011

friday forte: normal service


on display, originally uploaded by ebbandflo_pomomama.

Ugh!
Apologies for yesterday's post. It really was "one of those days" and I am so annoyed (annoyed) with myself for letting it get to me. In essence, nothing really dreadful happened but an accumulation of little niggly things finally reached critical mass ...

Anyways, my thoughts last night were churning around and mulling over why exactly I'm trying to Do All Of This. Why am I going back to college part time? Why do I keep on crafting and making stuff? Why do I volunteer? Why do I fill my days when I have no direct parenting to do and the housework is long done (cough - or ignored)? Why do I keep myself sooooo busy that every day is an essay in prioritising? What exactly is the point of doing all of this when it feels like my feet are running in mid air, I'm not making any money, and it makes me stressed? Why? What am I aiming for?

Today was a Pro D day.
The Wee Guy was in childcare cos I thought I would be teaching a wire crochet class in town (I wasn't).
I had homework to do, website writing to plan, marketing, creating, reading .... same as any other day but I did nothing (or as near to nothing as possible).

After dropping off Wee Guy and mr ebb, I called in at City Hall to photograph the Blackberry Artists display (see above). Each month the exhibition is changed out so I try to capture some images for the blog. I'm really pleased with the way the vignette app for Android captures such charming images. This new array of four is a recent 'find'.

Then I paid my business license for the year (it gives me advertising at City Hall among other perks).
I cleaned out mrs pig's floor pen (she was happy).
I printed out some work for the college course and sent off the files to other members of the group project. Even as a part timer, I can contribute.

Then I called in at Tri Cities Family Place to collect the diaries for the newsletter I send out each month. I stayed chatting with Christine for almost three hours .. three hours! It was an absolute tonic. Christine has known me since I arrived in Port Moody. She wrote a reference for my college application. She is full of really great practical advice about parenting and children. She makes my heart sing and my brain engage. She makes me feel that I'm making a difference, that my contributions are valuable. She makes me feel that what I'm doing is worthwhile and possible.

I paid in a cheque at the bank; picked up some dishwasher detergent at Costco; I drove home and finished sewing a cardigan together (am wearing it now).

Pizza.

So - what is the point of what I'm doing?
I'm trying to craft a meaningful life for myself - something that makes sense and helps me fulfill my roles as wife and mother. I'm not approaching it by conventional means and the end result ie. employment, will not be a job in the conventional 9-5 sense. I don't have a map or a plan showing me how to get to what I'm aiming for. I don't even have the guide book to tell me it'll be worthwhile when I get there. Heck, I don't even know if 'there' exists!

There is no single role model in my life who is forging the same path that I can follow along, but there are many, many strong women I am honoured to know, who each give me an idea of how to go forward, how to keep on going forward. Thank you.

i'd like to give each and every one of you who responded to yesterday's post, on Facebook and here on Blogger, a huge hug. thank you for your kind and beautiful comments, and support. i hope one day to deliver the hug and my thanks in person :)

Thursday, January 27, 2011

self portrait thursday: a snapshot of a not very great day

spt thursday 27th jan 2011

Being in celebration of the Etsy Self Portrait Thursday challenge where a bunch of Etsy sellers indulge in online vanity by taking pics of themselves

Today I have been mostly feeling frustrated.
Which makes me feel crap.

I feel like I'm not getting anywhere.
I feel like I'm too old to get anywhere.
I really worry that I've left it too late.

I have no job, no pension, no career - at 45 I should not be where I am today.

I'm tired of bending myself round family and parenting, trying to find the path thru it all. I'm really tired of trying to forge my own way.

I'd like a role model. I'd like a pre-made roadmap. I'd like ti handed to me on a goddam plate!
I'd like to find other older mothers, immigrants with no employment history here, making a return to a more purposeful, satisfying existence in, around and in spite of their families. I should stop comparing myself (unfavourably) with younger women who don't have the same "end of life" urgency about clawing their way back to work. They have their own set of concerns and demons but time isn't running out for them in the way I feel it is for me. They have age/time on their side, as well as domestic employment history, network, qualifications, work experience ... family.
I'd really like a role model to show me it's all possible, or to quietly tell me to stop bashing my head against the wall and give up.

Right now, emigrating has cost me far more than I've gained.
I've lost my family, my friends, my home, my career ... my network was left behind. I didn't step from one job into another, with its ready network and camaraderie and anchorage. I can't step easily into the profession I qualified for. I've now been unemployed for too long to easily step into any job.
I'm not finding it easy.

Would I have done it differently if I had realised how much was at stake, how much I would have to give up?

Yes.
I would not be here now. The price is too high. The rewards don't compensate. I'm losing the belief that I can make It happen for me here.
But I'm stuck.

Ugh!
It's just 'one of those days'.
It's just one of those many days.


Wednesday, January 26, 2011

*Repost* The Top 20 Things I Learned While Living in Paris- #2 Quality Above All



**Please note- this is a re-posting of Monday's blog. Many subscribers did not receive this post due to a technical error with Google. I apologize for any inconvenience and I look forward to seeing you next week for #1!**

Living with Famille Chic completely changed my mindset of living and leading a quality life. Quality with regards to tangible things like clothing, furniture and food, as well as quality of the intangible- quality of thoughts, of feelings, of intellect. So many things about the French lifestyle promotes quality.

Madame Chic and her family were great role models for this. Their clothes were quality, their appearances were quality, their home was quality, their food was quality, their discussions were quality, the time they spent together was quality time… they really lived fully realized lives.

It could have been their aristocratic state of mind but they believed they deserved to live well and they did indeed do just that. They were so comfortable in their skin- so genuinely content with their lives. Their living well had nothing to do with money and everything to do with attitude and discernment.

It was in Paris, really, where I became a daily connoisseur. If a connoisseur by definition is an expert able to appreciate a field (such as fine art, for example) then a daily connoisseur is someone who appreciates every aspect of daily life. Someone who seeks out the highest quality in whatever tickles their fancy.

Seeking out nothing but quality in your life is not about being snobby or pretentious- it’s about being selective and discerning, realizing that life is short and why not fill it with the best things and experiences you can manage.

Once you commit to living a life of quality, your discernment will infuse into every aspect of your life. You will be more selective of the foods you choose to eat, the fabrics of the clothes that you wear, the way you choose to spend your time

You are less likely to binge on fast food or snacks- to hastily purchase an inferior article of clothing just because it was on sale- or sit for hours in front of the TV while your life slips away…

Also…

You will start to cherish the space around you and are less likely to litter it with clutter.

You begin to reevaluate your relationships and only give your time and energy to the people most important to you.

You begin to respect yourself and trust your instincts by not overextending yourself- (You will become comfortable with saying no. Saying no is perfectly OK!)

You will speak with purpose and allow the words that come out of your mouth to be quality words. Your thoughts, quality thoughts and actions, quality actions.

And in turn, become the daily connoisseur of your own life…

I’m not sure whether Famille Chic was aware of their commitment to a life of quality- as far as they were concerned that was just their life and they knew no different. But I am very grateful for my observations on the subject and I’ve committed myself (and it is an ongoing process) to cherish quality above all...

I would love to know… what does a life of quality mean to you?



Won’t you stay tuned for #1?



A typical Parisian farmer’s market is pictured above where quality items abound…




The Daily Connoisseur is now available on Amazon Kindle

Monday, January 24, 2011

The Top 20 Things I Learned While Living in Paris- #2 Quality Above All


Living with Famille Chic completely changed my mindset of living and leading a quality life. Quality with regards to tangible things like clothing, furniture and food, as well as quality of the intangible- quality of thoughts, of feelings, of intellect. So many things about the French lifestyle promotes quality.

Madame Chic and her family were great role models for this. Their clothes were quality, their appearances were quality, their home was quality, their food was quality, their discussions were quality, the time they spent together was quality time… they really lived fully realized lives.

It could have been their aristocratic state of mind but they believed they deserved to live well and they did indeed do just that. They were so comfortable in their skin- so genuinely content with their lives. Their living well had nothing to do with money and everything to do with attitude and discernment.

It was in Paris, really, where I became a daily connoisseur. If a connoisseur by definition is an expert able to appreciate a field (such as fine art, for example) then a daily connoisseur is someone who appreciates every aspect of daily life. Someone who seeks out the highest quality in whatever tickles their fancy.

Seeking out nothing but quality in your life is not about being snobby or pretentious- it’s about being selective and discerning, realizing that life is short and why not fill it with the best things and experiences you can manage.

Once you commit to living a life of quality, your discernment will infuse into every aspect of your life. You will be more selective of the foods you choose to eat, the fabrics of the clothes that you wear, the way you choose to spend your time

You are less likely to binge on fast food or snacks- to hastily purchase an inferior article of clothing just because it was on sale- or sit for hours in front of the TV while your life slips away…

Also…

You will start to cherish the space around you and are less likely to litter it with clutter.

You begin to reevaluate your relationships and only give your time and energy to the people most important to you.

You begin to respect yourself and trust your instincts by not overextending yourself- (You will become comfortable with saying no. Saying no is perfectly OK!)

You will speak with purpose and allow the words that come out of your mouth to be quality words. Your thoughts, quality thoughts and actions, quality actions.

And in turn, become the daily connoisseur of your own life…

I’m not sure whether Famille Chic was aware of their commitment to a life of quality- as far as they were concerned that was just their life and they knew no different. But I am very grateful for my observations on the subject and I’ve committed myself (and it is an ongoing process) to cherish quality above all...

I would love to know… what does a life of quality mean to you?



Won’t you stay tuned for #1?



A typical Parisian farmer’s market is pictured above where quality items abound…




The Daily Connoisseur is now available on Amazon Kindle

Sunday, January 23, 2011

plainly speaking

wirework for today
would much rather be doing this

My latest homework has been pure torture.
Precis I don't mind.
Editing and reducing the word count - no problem.
But plain english? Ugh (two paragraphs, in the style of .... wish me luck).


Plain English, also known as Plain Language,  is the art of writing effectively without unnecessary clutter.  

The Plain Language movement started with 14th Century authors, such as Chaucer,  writing in everyday english rather than french (used in the royal court) or church latin. Writing in everyday language and speech patterns meant more people could understand. A century later the printing press was invented and books were available to more people. Coupled with Plain Language, reading became popular in the general population. Information was more readily available. By the mid 20th century the modern Plain English movement began. In 1946, English author, George Orwell, criticised the misuse of language by politicians. He stated that political writing existed "to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind." Orwell championed Plain English instead of using "meaningless words and hackneyed phrases".  The British Plain English movement began in 1979 with a dramatic shredding of hundreds of indecipherable official forms. It continued with development of the Crystal Mark seal of approval for document clarity. In 1978, the United States government decided all federal regulations should be written in Plain English (Executive Order from President Carter). In Canada, a Plain Language Society of Vancouver was founded in the 1980's.  Global businesses and governments have worked hard to make information clearly understandable to their readers since these early days.   

Plain language is best suited for business writing and technical texts, where surplus words confuse the reader. Documents written in plain language are easy to read and understand at first sight.  
Avoid - 
  • unnecessary jargon, slang, and clichés 
  • lengthy and complex sentences  
  • abbreviations, acronyms, and foreign words 
Simplicity and brevity are essential.   
Use simple words, short sentence structure, and a conversational tone to engage instead of confuse the reader. Strong, active verbs get the message across and cut down sentence length. Keep gender neutral - don't alienate your audience. Focus your writing by researching your audience. Ease the reading process as much as possible.  

Remove superfluous verbiage. 

In a nutshell, cut the crap.

PS: There is a website (Drivel Defence) which you can plug your text into and check for Plain English use. It's offered by the Plain English Society. According to their analysis, my paragraphs above fare quite well.

Friday, January 21, 2011

friday forte: running so fast i'm standing still

little forest pendants in fine silver
i can see the woods for the trees, dammit

Three quarters of the way thru January and I still don't feel as though I can stop running to keep up. It's been busy (busy) but I'm feeling OK about how I've been coping so far.
  • third week of college completed (homework less so but the deadlines are more than a week away)
  • gallery exhibit pieces finished and delivered
  • bricks-and-mortars re-stocked (a fancy way of saying that I've renewed inventory in all the shops I consign in)
  • housework almost there
  • bills paid
  • family fed, in clean clothes, sane
I'm almost on top of my to-do pile. I'm still prioritising like mad every single day (and would love to get off the wheel). So far nothing, apart from a delayed newsletter, has slipped through (that I know of).
I know what I need to do and how to do it.
But I would really like some kind of structure to my working week.


Last night I sat down with pen and paper to write out all my tasks for the month. From that list I tried to group them; business, volunteer, domestic, and so on, and that divided them into daily/weekly/monthly tasks. From this pattern I can plan out my week, allotting blocks of time to each type of task. If I draw up a master list, a. nothing should slip through, and b. I will never be at a loose end for something to do.


Heck! I might even feel like I'm making progress.
Gee! I might even schedule a day off :)


PS: I will be stepping off the wheel until mid week - I've got one post scheduled and then there's Monday when I will participate in shared reading, followed a skype interview with the awesome Amber for her Crafting My Life course, a school skating trip, and finally an anger management session for the Wee Guy.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

self portrait thursday: brr plainly nippy out

there is no way snow is going down this neck
Being in celebration of the Etsy Self Portrait Thursday challenge where a bunch of Etsy sellers indulge in online vanity by taking pics of themselves

It's that time of the week again, and this time of the week is a snow day. Wee Guy was enormously excited (and well enough) to go to school this morning (I got a call from school yesterday mid-morning to pick him up cos of one episode of vomit)(!)(which he recovered from before I even wrangled him to the car) and I managed to struggle in to college to read the email from the tutor telling me that class was cancelled.

c'est la vie

Which brings me on to Plain English. My homework for today's invisible class.
So, in the interests of clarity, I really shouldn't have included a foreign phrase in my post.
But I have done.
Because there is nothing business-y about a self portrait thursday post.
The two paragraphs on Plain English aka Plain Language will be rendered unto Caesar in due course (which, in translation, means before next thursday).


This morning the world was encased in a wondrous whiteness which the Wee Guy and I gazed on in amazement prior to consuming our morning repast. Suitably attired (see above picture - i cannot bear anything cold down the back of my neck) we ventured forth in pursuit of our day's activities, he to the tender care of his in loco parentis supervision, and myself variously to my literary studies, my communications, and to a local seat of higher learning where I diligently pursued my studies. After sufficient and earnest application to my books I thence returned via snowy avenues to restock the household perishables, appraise myself of the morrow's ventures and ultimately to resume parental activities with the fruit of my partner's loins. Following ample repast, we completed ablutions and fell into blissful slumber.


It had snowed during the night which made the Wee Guy very excited and the roads crap to drive on. After breakfast I dumped him at daycare then scrambled thru homework, emails and drove to a non-existent class at college. Pissed around for a while at college then drove back thru slush. Bought veggies, prepped for a wire crochet class tomorrow then collected the wee blighter. Fed him, made sure he washed properly then went to bed.


Happy Thursday!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

wordless wednesday: pictures in an exhibition

Currently on display at Leigh Square, Port Coquitlam in the Roots gallery exhibition.
:)

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

pssst! wanna learn something new?

multi strand bracelet
In the midst of all the excitement about the upcoming group show at Leigh Square, I completely forgot to plug another of my ventures, namely a new venue for wire crochet classes.


I'll be teaching my first class for beginners at the excellent Bird On A Wire on Main Street (at Broadway) in Vancouver this Friday, 21st January. The first class will cover basic chain stitch and we will make a wonderful multi-stranded bracelet. The following Friday there will be another class and a new stitch to be practised with a stunning gemchip wire mesh cuff as the result.


gem chip wire mesh cuff
I'll be repeating these classes towards the end of February/ early March (for details please check out the newly updated Classes tab above).


I've been busy - the Events tab is also updated with new craft fairs, exihibitions and local shopping links :)

Monday, January 17, 2011

The Top 20 Things I Learned While Living in Paris- #3 Simple Pleasures



Do you remember the film Amélie? At the beginning of the film, the narrator introduces the characters by the simple pleasures that they take part in every day. For Amélie herself it was plunging her hands into the sack of grain at the market, skipping stones at the Canal St. Martin and breaking the top of the crème brulée with her spoon. For her father it was cleaning out his tool box and stripping wallpaper. For her mother, cleaning out her handbag and scrubbing the floor with her slippers were her tiny pleasures. And while Jean Pierre Jeunet’s characters’ likes were slightly eccentric and whimsical, they are a perfect showcase for how the French take pleasure from the simplest things in life.

Lately in our society it seems we suffer from what I call “Real Housewife” syndrome. It takes an awful lot to impress anymore. Parties, houses, cars- everything has to be bigger, better and more expensive. This way of life might be temporarily exciting but unfortunately also leads to a whole slew of other issues- debt, clutter and a strong sense of emptiness are just three maladies that come to mind. While living in Paris, I found French people’s regalement in the simplest of things to be incredibly refreshing.

Like the characters in Amélie, Famille Chic took pleasure out of the seemingly smallest of things. Madame Chic enjoyed listening to the morning radio show as she prepared breakfast (which, by the way, was at 5am every weekday). She took immense pleasure out of getting the strawberries perfectly symmetrical on her tarte aux fraises. She relished the morning phone call to her girlfriend where they discussed the week’s gossip (Madame Chic did not have a cell phone, she would sit in the hall next to their old fashioned telephone when speaking to her friend- it was a ritual). Monsieur Chic loved his pipe, his nightly slice of camembert- the ‘Roi du fromage’. And for vacations? Their summer house in Brittany provided endless pleasure.

Not only were Famille Chic’s pleasures simple, but also repetitive. They somehow found a way to enjoy the repetition of the seemingly mundane things of their daily life. Madame Chic’s attitude could easily have been, “Here I go again, preparing breakfast for the family- every day the same thing!” Or Monsieur Chic could have thought, “Camembert again for the cheese course? Where is the variety?” But they didn’t have negative attitudes towards these small life details and as a result, they got along very harmoniously as a family.

Having a ‘simple pleasures’ mindset can really set you up for a happy life. If you slow down and take pleasure in simple things, you are less likely to overspend- less shopping trips for unnecessary clothes, less pressure for that dream vacation you can’t really afford, or that car that is just out of your budget. It is not to suggest you become complacent with your life but to inherently appreciate the things that you already have. To reject the new materialism we talked about prior in the countdown.

The simple pleasures mindset also helps one cope with the mundane nature of everyday life. Tasks that one normally abhors such as washing the dishes or making the bed can become pleasurable if you choose to make them so. After all, you will have to do these tasks for the rest of your life, why not enjoy them?

And as for repetition… have you heard the phrase ‘variety is the spice of life?’ Well that could be true, but French people really find what they like and stick with it- the camembert for the cheese course every night, comes to mind. Or the champagne cocktail that Madame Bohemienne served before every one of her dinner parties. Famille Chic and Bohemienne didn’t mind repetition when it came to their favorite things. Monsieur Chic was a connoisseur of camembert cheese. Madame Bohemienne had a good thing going with her champagne cocktail (trust me, it was yummy), so why change it?

Talking about taking pleasure in the moment, one of my fondest memories of Madame Bohemienne was when she came home one hot afternoon in spring with a bouquet of flowers in one arm- her other arm outstretched- and proclaimed, “We are the luckiest people in the world to live in Paris!”.

Indeed.

I would love to know… what are your simple pleasures?

A very Parisian courtyard is pictured above


Won't you stay tuned for #2?


The Daily Connoisseur is now available on the Kindle.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

change of scene

Saturday so it must be Grouse. Mr ebb, the Wee Guy and I have rather recklessly signed away a number of our weekends in the pursuit of betterment in winter sports, aka bloody early starts for ski lessons. This seemed a Good Idea at the tail end of 2010; in the cold (early) light of day, it seems Truly Dumb.

Today's seemed Incredibly Dumb.
Moguls in flat light are no joke on a snowboard. One moment there is contact with <i>terra firma</i>, and the next either your knees are round your ears or the ground has vanished into the air. It is a good learning moment but it's not exactly relaxing. The cloud sitting firmly atop Grouse Mountain reduced visibility to hand-in-front-of-face only. Navigation was tricky, not helped by a complete absence of signage at crucial steepnesses. In some areas there was absolutely no point of reference for orientation, truly a magical mystery tour. Still, this aging shred betty and her even older (by a couple of months) companion managed the Tour de Grouse in style.

Shame Beavertails wasn't open (can anyone confirm if Rusty Rail ever is?)

Friday, January 14, 2011

friday forte: MIA (mi acorn!)


My acorn!, originally uploaded by ebbandflo_pomomama.

I adore social media. I love being able to reach out across the globe to my online life, to friends in other countries and just down the street, to family in a different time zone, and all when it suits me in my crazy, busy life. No more coughing awkwardly on the phone trying to escape, or eyeballing the letter sitting in the hall patiently awaiting either a stamp or a trip to the mailbox (ain't gonna happen any time soon) - contact is easy to make as when it suits.

But, oh boy, can it be an interruption! Recently I feel as though I've been MIA, especially from twitter. I'm sure my Klout will take a nose dive, but a lot of social media is time consuming and a tempting diversion from That Which Needs To Be Done.

So I have been MIA .... and above is the reason. The load-in for the exhibition at Leigh Square is on Wednesday, and as of this morning I was still "missing" four pieces. In addition to this new school thang, my time has been in short enough supply - tweeting had to go (temporarily). I've been up to my armpits in dragonflies, acorns, little trees, and lichen. I've forgotten what colour my bench is!

But it's been worth it :) Of the last four projects, one is now completed and framed, another is awaiting polishing having been fired this afternoon, and the last ones are well on the way. This morning they, er, didn't really exist much.

PS: yes, that is my acorn on the exhibition poster :)

self portait thursday: me

Me, in my fifth decade.
Am I really only just starting out or is this just another new beginning? Is one life meant to be just one continuous stretch, or should it be a patchwork portfolio of experiences?
I have no answers. I only have questions.
When will I know?
Will I know?

Monday, January 10, 2011

time in motion monday


my Gullible, originally uploaded by ebbandflo_pomomama.

woke up*shower and wash hair* check Wee Guy is waking and getting dressed*dry hair and get self dressed* breakfast prep Wee Guy*breakfast prep for the pigs*check Gullible - not willing to drink today*first load of laundry*breakfast for self while checking emails*tumble sterling earwire order with stainless steel shot*prep for evening meal*check school bag for day*school run*shared reading with the Wee Guy at school*phone vet*cuddle pigs*first sortie round house cleaning up*first dryer load*second laundry load with pieces for felting*dig pit in garden border*work on jewelry pieces for exhibition*prime and paint cradled panels for gallery show*vet appointment*cuddle Gullible until he falls asleep and stops breathing*home*pizza delivery at school*rescue second pair of outdoor shoes from cubbyhole at school*brief lunch stop*check in on PayPal account for shipping info and pay invoice*package earwire order*lunchtime walk to post office with friend*check in on emails and social media*second coat for cradled panels*fold dryer load*second dryer load*fill pit and replace soil*school pick up*snacks*mop kitchen floor post juice spill*child wrangling*abortive cycling practice*explain about heaven and getting a letter delivered there*counseling appointment*read two chapters of homework for school tomorrow while waiting for Wee Guy*start 'time in motion monday' list*wait for Wee Guy*still waiting*learn about bubble blowing and balloons as aids in anger management*stop off at Kin's for greens for mrs pig*home reading, piano practice and spelling while meal prep takes place*spy school lesson from Wee Guy*fold second dryer load*dinner*short nap on couch with mrs pig*more wine*two phone calls*blogging*chat with friend who is round to collect her gorgeous art dolls*wine*shower*bed*zzzz's

The Top 20 Things I Learned While Living in Paris- #4 The Art of Femininity




Before I lived in Paris I was afraid of my femininity. Looking back, that is the only way I can put it. I wasn’t a tomboy- I liked feminine things, but I was afraid of what or who I could become if I unleashed my full potential. My posture was bad. I didn’t have a real haircut (my hair was too long- no layers), I covered my body with frumpy clothes. My tastes had not yet blossomed to those of the sophisticate. Mon Dieu, I was a wreck.

It was in France that I learned to claim my femininity and use it proudly. French femininity is very refreshing. They scoff other western interpretations of femininity such as breast implants, fake nails and hair extensions as being vulgar and instead encourage women to use what they’ve got and work it.

Having been lucky enough to observe first hand Madame Chic and Madame Bohemienne as well as the entire city of Parisian women for the time I lived there, I came to the conclusion- French women do feminine and they do it very well.

A few key points I noticed when observing them, and how I changed myself:

Posture

French women have great posture. It is not rigid, stiff and formal- but wonderfully fluid- an active posture that exudes confidence. They carry themselves with poise, shoulders back and down, chest out (not too far out- just not caved in) and carry themselves with a certain ease. Madame Chic had this- so did Madame Bohemienne. Sure there are some bohemian types (not Madame Bohemienne, mind you) who wear berets, slouch, smoke cigarettes and recite poetry- but even their slouch has an affectation to it- nevermind, we’re not talking about them. No, the first thing I noticed was that French women had really great posture. My posture was improved just being in their presence. Good posture is somewhat contagious.

Also it is quite difficult to sit in a beautiful and ornately appointed Parisian apartment (like Famille Chic’s) with hunched up shoulders. The formal atmosphere is enough to make you want to sit up straight. I find good posture to be extremely powerful. If you ever find yourself in a bad situation or one where you’re intimidated, fix your posture- it suggests you are a force to be reckoned with and makes a big difference.

Perfume

I would occasionally wear scent when in California before living in Paris, but it was usually the unsophisticated variety (Bath and Bodyworks freesia sprays- that sort of thing) but living in Paris I noticed that each woman seemed to have a bold signature scent. When you greet people over there, you generally forgo the handshake for the more familiar kiss on the cheek and this is where you really catch the scent. It is like a calling card. Most French woman have one or two signature scents and wear them religiously. Now I feel rather naked without a spritz of my favorite perfume. (I currently wear Stella but am going on the hunt for my new signature scent in the new year... more on that later).

Nails

Fake nails are considered vulgar in France. Most French women (Madame Chic and Bohemienne included) have short, manicured nails that are painted in a clear or neutral color. Essie’s Mademoiselle is perfect for this look. I try and have a manicure and pedicure once every two weeks to keep up my nails. This look is so easy though, having a professional manicure isn’t entirely necessary. All you need to do is cut and file your nails, and apply a base coat, color and then top coat. Once dry, moisturize and you are done! Neutral colors are also very easy to fill in if your color happens to chip away prematurely.

Hair

French hair lends itself to spontaneity. It is not the sort of hair that says “Stand back. Do not touch. If you do a serious meltdown might occur!”

Hair is a very feminine accessory in the French woman’s arsenal. Most French women have a really simple cut- usually erring on the short side rather than the long- Their hair is simply styled and not stiff. You would be really hard pressed to find someone with hair extensions, multi-colored hair (I'm talking about hot pink highlights), high maintenance, flat ironed hair or any other sort of pained look. French hair is very flirtatious- it suggests fun, spontaneity. It says that you could just jump in a pool at any given moment if you wanted to or have a man run his fingers through it- if you so desired.

When I arrived in France I didn’t have much of a hairstyle. I would love to say I ventured into a salon and got a chic short cut à la Sabrina- but I didn’t. I waited until I got back to America and now I visit my stylist every six weeks religiously. To me, good hair is très important aspect of my femininity.

Lingerie and Sleepwear

After Madame Chic called me out on my frumpy, holey pajama sweats, I marched promptly to Etam where I purchased two sets of sleepwear- one tailored cotton set in a pretty, luscious cream and one lingerie inspired one in orangey silk. These two purchases were a revelation for me. It was the first time I respected myself enough to realize I deserved to wear beautiful and feminine articles of clothing- at all times- not just out during the day or on special occasions.

French women value the importance of good lingerie. They wear silky chemises to bed and during the day wear matching bras and panties- whether someone will see them later or not. A tip for shopping for matching sets- buy one bra and three or four pairs of the matching panties. Store them together in pretty mesh bags in your lingerie drawer and you will always have a complete set on hand.


Clothing

Both Madame Chic and Madame Bohemienne’s clothing were tributes to femininity. I never saw Madame Chic in anything other than a skirt. She never wore jeans, skirts were just her thing. Madame Bohemienne wore skirts all the time too- the skirt is a very feminine tool in the Parisian woman’s arsenal- showcasing the legs and just subtly declaring that you are in fact different than a man- you are feminine. I never saw either woman in shapeless, baggy sweatpants or unflattering, ill-fitting clothing. Their clothes were orchestrated so to bring out their best features and hide their worst.


Of course there are many more aspects to cultivating ones’ femininity than what I’ve discussed in this post. And I could elaborate for days on each one of these subjects. One recurring theme that I find rather refreshing is how simple this all is. The French rules of femininity say work with what you’ve got. No need for anything fake. Subtly enhance your features with makeup. Keep your natural nails, just polish them and take care of them. Same with your hair- nothing too over the top, just healthy, gorgeous hair in a manageable cut. Pretty, feminine clothes. These tools are meant to encourage you to go out and live your life, not be bogged down by having to maintain a 'look'.

How refreshing.

I would love to know… how do you pay tribute to your femininity?


Hotel France et Chateaubriand is pictured above.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

prioritising

On my 'to do' list currently; gallery pieces (for two group shows, one due completed next week), start thinking about ideas for my solo show (!), blogging, re-stock one B&M*, housework, attend to my online stores, website revamp volunteer project, school work, construct meal plan for January ... I'm sure there's more ....... I've definitely forgotten something .............

But today I went snowboarding on Grouse with mr ebb :)

Priorities dear gal, priorities!

friday forte: do.not.like

Would rather have been a million miles away from departures at YVR this afternoon; lil sis flew back to the UK.
Summer cannot come soon enough. Sometimes being an expat sucks.
And today is one of those times.
:(

Thursday, January 6, 2011

SPT 6th January 2011: sisters, sisters

... did you ever see such sisters?

Sadly, she's flying home tomorrow :(
We've (well, I've) had a blast having her to stay this Christmas and New Year. It's been great having someone to natter with, who knows what to do during meal prep without being asked. She's been an aunty par excellence and has wowed the Wee Guy with the biggest book of science yet (bravely arming him with the knowledge to disprove all her wacky theories).

We've been cross country skiing, snowshoing, shopping, thrifting and art gallerying. I've had adult company (though not always the most mature - pixies and chlorophyll for example) and a buddy for my daily errands, but tomorrow evening we have to stop the fun, board the plane and put the revelry aside for six months until I can head back to Scotland for the summer.

Titanium Dioxide In Mineral Makeup, Final Report By EPA

Another Myth (Non Science) Debunked....OMG I Am Shocked



Finally we are getting some clarity in a torrent of misinformation perpetuated by many, all on the basis of sensationalism. I have written several articles on micronized minerals used in mineral makeup as it pertains to nano particles (sub micron) versus standard micronized particles, and their relation with the use of Titanium Dioxide, in an effort to try to correct the misnomers and clear up subsequent confusion. In these articles I shared the research of what I learned and in defined scenarios I explained the differences.



Now with the EPA's final report on this ingredient, a game changer, I have conclusively determined and feel confident, the use of Titanium Dioxide or TiO2 (sub micron) are very safe based on the science presented when applied to the skin, and has even alleviated the concern over possible inhalation into the lungs....however, the basis for this info is, if one were to go around sucking up their powders similar to the forced inhalation imposed on rats and mice....highly unlikely! And most of my readers have learned through the use of our mineral makeup tutorials, a moist application further removes this very small risk factor to nearly "zero." Technique makes a world of difference when using mineral cosmetics.



However, there are those, no matter the solid scientific evidence provided, will refuse to accept this since it would not fall in line with their mantra of "everything we place on our skin is absorbed into it." Sometimes when challenged, a running diatribe ensues with conjecture and no actual evidence....basically forcing them to dig their heels in further.



This same statement has been placed and regurgitated throughout many blogs, websites, forums and has been found in past articles provided by Skin Deep database, Campaign for Safe Cosmetics, and the Environmental Working Group, along with their subsidiary Environmental Health Sciences.



The Eternal Nay Sayer



I have seen Titanium Dioxide's score on skin deeps' site change whenever it seems to suit the argument they are ranting at the time. Sometimes it is worse case and then others it seems to improve in comparison to Zinc Oxide. But I will also be curious to see if they will adopt the latest finding by the EPA and the peer reviewed studies they provided in the report. Plus, also clarifying the differences in use of Titanium Dioxide would go a long way, rather than placing it as a one size fits all scenario. I personally don't believe they will since again, this would change the game and pretty much destroy their ability to collect donations which is essentially attributed to instilling fear through the disinformation they continually spread. Their constant rhetoric has remained unchanged even when, what I would call, different conclusive science is presented to them.



I have also experienced this when having open discussion at other blogs, forums or websites of late, with others whom own their own personal care or cosmetics company. Myself and others, (scientists, chemists, etc.) present the scientific evidence, not just an opinion, and the scaremongers or the avid defenders of the groups I listed above, will continue to sidestep, deflect or change the topic, censor the comment completely if it differs from their mindset, including sometimes not returning to the conversation, whenever they were challenged with the actual science, whole or in part. Some of the delusion of their comparisons can be equated as, to stay safe we should not take any risks when it comes to sketchy ingredients (precautionary principle), to which I reply, then you better not cross the street, stand out in a field during a thunderstorm, drive your car, swim, drink the water, take a bath or shower, get on a plane, etc....because this statement is overwhelmingly ridiculous since risk is ubiquitous, and is part of everyday life and should not be a reason to live in isolation, panic or determine our choices since this borders on paranoia.



I further don't understand why, when the sound science is shown, they refuse to acknowledge it, especially when it can remove some of that unnecessary worry from their proverbial plate. Basically, I feel it is about accountability or credibility, since to admit they may have been inaccurate in their stance, would contribute to both and for some, this is a tough pill to swallow.



I have stated in past articles, it is based on an ideology they follow in order to pursue an agenda, sell products, and practice the eternal "chicken little syndrome", convincing you that all other ingredients, other than what they use, are bad. I would ask, they try promotion of their products based on positive attributes rather than on the negative attributes of other ingredients since it is mostly based on supposition......oops...I went into the land of Shangri-La there for a moment.



The Latest Science In Summary According To The EPA



This final EPA Report is on the effects of TiO2 in drinking water and in sunscreens since I published these articles "What Are Micronized Minerals In Mineral Makeup?" "The Safety Of Titanium Dioxide Used In Mineral Makeup" and "Micronized Minerals vs Non Micronized Minerals."



The report is dated November 2010 and they delve further into refining TiO2 in terms of identifiers within the study as nano-TiO2 and conventional TiO2. They further establish the nanometers between ultra fine and nano, but the entire study is dedicated to TiO2 in all particulate sizes. There seems to be refined differences as they interact with the environment, oral, inhalation and dermal.



All makes for interesting reading, but for the purposes of the past articles I wrote, the information which is most crucial and has been a cause for some concern, is in relation to the use of titanium dioxide in mineral makeup products. The information is most telling when dealing with dermal and possible inhalation, depending on application technique of the powders. Surface treatments also played a huge role in how this ingredient reacts in the environment and in relation to uptake within the blood brain barrier. For example; rutile vs anatase, coated vs uncoated, or if penetration enhancers were used and many of the studies in determination were done with injection and oral.



Furthermore the EPA makes it clear there are still unknowns in some aspects of the research, yet make it very clear that animal studies do not extrapolate to human ones. To date there are very limited studies done in relation to humans, especially those in relation to dermal exposure, and they concede that mice or rat skin is much thinner than human skin. They followed research provided by the EU and it is provided within the report. The EPA further clarifies "dose" is the regulator to risk and hazard with this ingredient. Which this is the stance not adopted by many on the other side of this debate, feeling that any amount, no matter how miniscule, is hazardous.



Analytical methods are also crucial for final analysis since distinctions are rarely made on sites as EWG or the CFSC and they define all ingredient listings in terms of HAZARD instead of RISK.



The report states that sensitive and accurate analytical methods for nanomaterials are critical tools for nanomaterial risk assessment, because measurement and characterization of nanomaterials, alone and in various media, are required for properly assessing exposure, conducting toxicological studies, estimating dose-response relationships, and understanding the behavior and effects of nanomaterials. The standardization of characterization method and sample preparation protocols will also greatly facilitate the physicochemical characterization of the nanomaterials.



Many techniques can be used to measure and characterize nanomaterials in the laboratory and manufacturing workplace, and some are available for detecting nanomaterials in the environment. However, no single instrument can characterize all of the physicochemical properties of interest. Technical difficulties still exist in certain aspects, such as measuring and characterizing nanomaterials in organisms, and distinguishing naturally-occurring nanomaterials from engineered nanomaterials in the environment.



Shown by example in the report, in general, anatase nano-TiO2 is more photocatalytic than the rutile form, and nanoscale rutile is less photoreactive than either anatase and rutile mixtures or anatase alone.



Dermal uptake of nano-TiO2 is particularly relevant for sunscreens containing nano-TiO2, and both human and animal studies are available. These studies predominantly indicate that nano-TiO2 does not penetrate beyond the stratum corneum or hair follicles into living cells of healthy skin. In a study comparing psoriatic and healthy skin, nano-TiO2 in a sunscreen formulation penetrated into deeper areas of the stratum corneum of psoriatic skin, but still did not reach living cells. No studies have been identified that evaluated nano-TiO2 penetration in damaged skin (e.g., from sunburn), although preliminary results indicate greater penetration of quantum dots and nano-silver in damaged skin compared to healthy skin. The extent and duration of nano-TiO2 accumulation on the skin via reapplication of sunscreen and the ultimate fate of nano-TiO2 from sloughed skin cells are both open questions at this time.



Final Positive Thoughts



In terms of usage in mineral makeup powders, I am satisfied with the report that there is little concern over blood brain barrier exposure through dermal contact, with inhalation also not being a sole issue for exposure due to varying particulate sizes tested. It is clearly shown with particulate size increased, exposure becomes of little concern in this context. And with the use of standard Micron sized Titanium Dioxide in mineral powders, any concern should finally be alleviated based on the science conducted on sub micron particles.



I may be a positive thinker in a sea of naysayers when it comes to presenting the facts, but I am content in my position and my life's decisions based on the truth in research I have pursued. For those that were on the fence over this issue, I sincerely hope this has shed some light on the possibility of lingering confusion, even when it comes to selecting future sunscreens for you and your family.



For those who wish to also wade through the EPA 204 page report in its' entirety, Click Here, then click on link that states "Get the Report."



2011 seems to be shaping up as we begin to see some of this disinformation and spreading of bad science throughout the internet for the past 10 years, finally be challenged....It is a Good Day!



Cheers



Related Article: Does Titanium Dioxide Cause Free Radical Damage?



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Tuesday, January 4, 2011

First day back at school

First day back at school for (cough cough) 22 years.
First wrong text book purchased.
First afternoon skiving off to the mall to try out Sephora lip crayons (and purchase correct textbook).

Monday, January 3, 2011

shout out sunday but we had internet problems

SPT Thursday January 3rd 2008

disclaimer: internet connection issues have delayed this post (honest, really!)
 BTW, this still isn't the year in review post or the 2011 resolutions issue
but please keep reading ..

 The start of a new year seems to signify a great deal of navel gazing and introspection and reminiscing in the blogosphere; it won't be any different here once I get rid of my holiday guests and the family goes back to work/school get back to a regular work routine so don't despair. I do have my plans (one of them is to steer well clear of resolutions - I might adopt a targets approach instead which, IMO, is less nebulous than promising to do good) but I also have a lot of hard work ahead for the next few months viz, going back to college, two group gallery exhibits, a website revamp and a possible website "instigate", ongoing blogging, and the usual home business stuff (incredibly important this year as it's paying my college tuition) including my own solo gallery show (a first!). I cannot possibly fit self improvement into the daily timeline! My life will be self-focused enough up until April (when I'm not dealing with the usual domestic issues as per the norm).

Although I'll be ruminating long and loud about myself, I thought it would be a nice break for all concerned to give a shout out to three other 'ladies of the internet' who will be doing some ruminating themselves during 2011. I've met all of them in real life (!), their blogs are on my Reader, and they always have something worth reading. I wish them well during their own personal journeys in 2011 - we should all have great 'year in review' posts to read by December 31st.

Snowshoes adventure

My first shout out is to my little sister who blogs about what she'd like to do when she grows up. She's been bravely forging a new life for herself, exploring single living and contentment after some crappy life events ... She is a total inspiration to me as nothing seems to keep her felled for long ... and she's doing it all by herself. Along with the IRL career girl stuff, Becca also writes about wheat intolerance and recipes, her beloved Stirling (yes, back in bonnie Scotland), learning to tango, and boldly going out on a limb being brave stuff. She reminds me of what life is like back in the world of work i.e. it's not all wine and roses, but she still offers sage advice on my plans to dabble there. She is also a most excellent Aunty B to the Wee Guy! (She also writes great solo travel posts for her blog - check out Spain and Wales over there).



My next shout out is to the amazing Amber, the social media hublet of the Tri Cities. I think she commented on a blog post of mine a couple of years ago, or followed my tweets and I followed back ... the rest is history. She is an awesome connection within my neighbourhood social media, awesome in real life, and is crafting herself a new direction after her job disappeared while on maternity leave. She's talked candidly and eloquently on how it feels to be the mother of two young children and suddenly have the rug pulled from under you at a very vulnerable time. As well as blogging about family and domestic life, she's also produced a series of posts comparing maternity leave regulations in different countries, is collecting stories for a new book on becoming a parent, and is launching an online course on getting the best out of Your life (click on the button above for more info, to sign up, and so on. and check out my new sidebar button too). She's a total inspiration on getting things done in, around and in spite of the family.

Frances

My last shout out is to a totally new friend who I've gotten to know her over the internet this year, and finally met up with this Christmas at last. Frances very nobly suffered non-stop turkey with us this year after bravely accepting an invite to come visit after Christmas. She arrived on Boxing Day to assist with eating up the rest of the festive bird at almost every mealtime. She brought homemade truffles and easy conversation and new friendship. Why is Frances on my blog reading list? She is also an inspiration in forging a new life, making a new path, following a dream. Her blog posts tackle everything from fostering/new parenting to grief to finding joy and making pickles. I know she has plans for 2011 and it's a privilege to be able to read along.

inlet walk - Becca and Frances

So ladies - excuse the gushing, but 2011 (no pressure!)
All the best :)

The Top 20 Things I Learned While Living in Paris- #5 Cultivate Your Mind



Intellect is everything in France. People want to hear what you have to say- and what you have to say will preferably be relevant, interesting and witty.

Living and studying in Paris, I found myself, for the first time in my life, away from all of my favorite television shows, addictive gossip magazines and other mind numbing forms of entertainment. I found myself instead passing my time in museums, reading books, attending theatre and discussing life with my fellow ex-pats. The result felt like a detox for my soul and gave me a shot of culture through my veins that I sorely needed.

My fellow students experienced the same exhilaration as well. We were so busy going places, learning things and experiencing life… we found our new lifestyle affected our conversation. Rather than sitting together and gossiping about celebrities or reality TV shows, we actually had topics of substance to discuss.

I began to realize that our intellectual renaissance wasn’t just due to the fact that we were studying in school. We were students back home in California as well, but back home we had all of the temptations that television, gossip magazines and vapid popular culture had to offer. No, I began to see that it was also France. It certainly helped that Famille Chic didn’t watch TV… and that the gossip magazines were filled with people I didn’t know, but France is really a culture that encourages you to cultivate your mind.

Sure, good skin helps, but generally, being a pretty face is just not enough to get you by. In fact women who aren’t technically classical beauties but who are intellectually stimulating are highly regarded and come off as being more attractive in France than one who is say, not.

And whereas in America, you could easily be called ‘pretentious’ for discussing intellectual or artistic pursuits like philosophy, classical music or poetry, in France it is expected of you to be well versed in the subjects.

I remember many times at Madame Bohemienne’s dinner parties discussing such subjects with her guests. At her parties people were more likely to ask you what book you were reading before they asked you what you do and where you are from.

Back in America I admit to having slipped a little with regards to constantly cultivating my mind… there is so much trashy TV and shallow reading that just lures you in… but I do try to pull in the reigns when I get out of control.

Some tips for cultivating your mind (if nothing else but to be an interesting guest at the next dinner party you attend):

Read a lot. If you find you don’t have much time to read, but have a long commute each day, consider listening to books on tape instead of music. Keep a list in your head of interesting or favorite books you’ve read so the next time someone asks you if you’ve ‘read anything good lately’ you’ll have something to say.

Trade in a few Hollywood Blockbusters for independent and foreign films. Interesting films also make for great discussions at dinner and cocktail parties…

Subscribe to a newspaper.
I know I’ve mentioned this before. I used to scoff at newspapers and instead read my news for free online but my father urged me to subscribe to one- we picked The Financial Times (out of London) and I am never going back. I love having a paper delivered every day- not only does it have the news, but also scores of other thought-provoking articles that I never would have read if I continued to just look online for my news. (Plus reading the news online can lead you down a slippery path. You might start out with the best intentions of reading the headlines on CNN.com, but then somehow get sidetracked and find yourself on Popsugar reading about a teen hearthtrob’s latest breakup and as soon as you know it- an hour has passed and you are no more informed then when you started off.)

Keep au courant with your local museum’s latest art exhibition. I can’t tell you how many times I attended a dinner party in Paris where I was asked if I’d seen the latest exhibition at the Centre Pompidou. Familiarize yourself with the more obscure artists…

Subscribe to a word of the day.
I’ve mentioned this before too- I can’t tell you how much I love this internet feature. The word of the day is on my home page and it is the first thing I see every morning when I open my computer. It expands my vocabulary and also prevents me from saying ‘like’ too much (a terrible vice of mine, growing up in Southern California). Today’s word, for example, is: Estivate: To spend the summer, as at a specific place or in a certain activity. Who knew?

Acquaint yourself with a genre of music you are unfamiliar with. If you like classical music, for example, get specific and familiarize yourself with nocturnes. Or pick up a biography on your favorite composer (mine is Chopin) so that you might better appreciate their work.

Learn another language.
Or if you must watch TV, watch a foreign language channel. I love (can you guess?) TV5 Monde. They have very good documentaries and films all in French. When I do have time to watch TV, this is my channel of choice.

Incidentally I received an Amazon Kindle for Christmas… which I am loving (and, by the way, The Daily Connoisseur is now available on the Kindle for your downloading pleasure... hurrah!). I will give you a more detailed review in the future, but the Kindle is a wonderful resource for information- books, newspapers, magazines and blogs. A portable and stylish tool for cultivating one’s mind…

And finally… Look for a future post on The Daily Connoisseur regarding the merits of less (or no) TV

I would love to know… how do you cultivate your mind?

Won’t you stay tuned for #4?

A detail of the side of Notre Dame is featured... such a beautiful and dramatic building.